Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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