Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
