Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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