I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
