If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
there is glitter all over my balls
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