He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I look better un-naked...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
