I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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