google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
