I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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