You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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