6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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