My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize