why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
