Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
