I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
