They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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