we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
50% drunk capacity currently
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
