Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
