i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
