well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize