I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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