he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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