Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection http://tfl.nu/mgca
  Replies (21) Good night (2704) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase. http://tfl.nu/ryxu
  Replies (68) Good night (641) Bad night (4431)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
  Replies (6) Good night (4418) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1
  Replies (68) Good night (12137) Bad night (2962)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'. http://tfl.nu/wlcp
  Replies (21) Good night (1615) Bad night (2836)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  pants will make it better? really?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand. (1-804): pants will make it better? really? http://tfl.nu/cx1r
  Replies (7) Good night (2377) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1981) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis http://tfl.nu/97wg
  Replies (22) Good night (2048) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Any clothing i put on is too many clothes. http://tfl.nu/ufgw
  Replies (8) Good night (1529) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos. http://tfl.nu/64bd
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them. http://tfl.nu/ft83
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (364) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/svv0
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date? http://tfl.nu/5g3w
  Replies (4) Good night (401) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis. http://tfl.nu/kmqs
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (217)

Randomize