none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.