is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on