Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"

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(515): View more from Iowa

they need to just BURY HIM!

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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed while puking? Even better

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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(907): View more from Alaska

She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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(404): View more from Georgia

All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.

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(217): View more from Illinois

The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?

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