You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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