so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
