i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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