I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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