no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I supernannyed him into submission
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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