lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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