I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
