return my video game
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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