I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
