Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
