Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
