new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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