It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
