I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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