I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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