Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
