ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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