I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize