too bad you live with your parents still
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
