My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
