I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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