dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
