I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you win again, gameday.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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