in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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