im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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