Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
MIDGETS
????
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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