fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
