I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
