It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
