My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.