I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.