my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!