Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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