I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
