That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
