Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
