Don't you send me to vm
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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