You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize